I’m staying in a beautiful one-bedroom “self catering” suite at the Cape Royale in the Green Point section of Cape Town. Picture a “huge” (by NYC standards) alcove studio apartment on the upper west side. Modern and tasteful, beige and white and the epitome of New York City luxury – I have a dishwasher, washing machine and dryer camouflaged in the kitchen cabinets! Of course, I have yet to use any of those appliances because I’m having so much fun acclimating to having a butler and housekeeper. I could use them if I wanted to… but for now I’ll settle for peeking inside them every time I’m in the kitchen. It’s awesome.
And speaking of awesome – I’ve got three floor-to-ceiling windows that open onto a ledge with a railing. There’s a lot of light, and because I’m in a corner room I have both a mountain view and stadium view. (I’m just down the road from the new stadium, which is quite beautiful though I have yet to see it lit up like it is in all the pictures.)
I’ve been here a week and am still adjusting to all those little differences that remind me I’m very, very far from home. There are the expected differences, like driving on the left-hand side of the street. But what I didn’t expect was that I’d climb into the driver’s seat when I got picked up at the airport. Riding shotgun feels like driving with your mind. It’s very disconcerting. Maybe that’s what the cars of the future will feel like – you know, the ones that will drive themselves? I’m also re-learning how to cross the street and walk in social situations. I keep looking the wrong way when I cross the street and have more than once found myself screaming and narrowly escaping death. And then there’s the whole walking thing where I think I’m getting out of the way and inevitably wind up getting in the way. This will all pass soon, I know. But for now, I feel like an idiot.
It’s the unexpected differences that really get me, though. Cans of soda are 200mL. Picture a skinny Red Bull can that’s about an inch or so shorter. Love that. Each electrical outlet in my apartment has an on-off switch, and the on-off switches on everything are backwards – up is OFF and down is ON. Very confusing. I’ve got a heated towel rack, which is very cool. I finally found the “on” switch today – it’s not in the bathroom. (It’s not cold here, but there is nothing like a warm towel to cocoon yourself in after a shower. I will save that luxury for once a week.) In fact, there are no switches or outlets in the bathroom (apparently this is common), and there is only one switch in the whole apartment that can handle a hair dryer – which is stored in the bathroom but you have to use it in the hallway. That was a fun hour spent figuring that one out. I’m determined to conquer the microwave this week. It scares me because it’s got a chrome rack inside. Shiny Metal+Microwave=Bad, no? I’ve pushed every button on the damned thing, and so far I’ve only managed to set the clock. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe that thing isn’t a microwave…
TV here is terrible. I’ve got 10 channels, 5 of which are non-stop football/cricket/rugby. Then there’s Disney and MTV. That leaves CNN, some movie channel (it’s OK), and a local station whose idea of prime-time evening programming is very odd. More than once I have turned on the TV and there’s a lady encouraging people to call in to win a cash prize if they, for example, pick out the cartoon drawing that is different from the others on the screen. The prize is around $150, and she is sitting there pleading for someone to call in while the clock winds down. The time gets down to "5 - 4 - 3 - 2 … 2 … … 2 ….. Anyone? 2… Surely one of you has the answer… 2 … 2 … 1 … 1 … 1 … " Then she calls someone on her headset and asks for more time, so the clock gets reset, and the prize gets doubled. I can’t confirm this, but I believe that--if I read the fine print correctly--you get charged if you guess incorrectly, which would explain why nobody was calling in. I’ve watched far more of this show than I’d care to admit (more than once); I suspect I’ll get sucked in again. I’m comforted by the fact that others on the crew have encountered this program and found themselves watching it for 20 minutes or so. I’m also comforted – oddly – that soon I will be so busy that I won’t have the energy to watch TV anyway.
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